How To Break Out Of Your Rut In This New World

One of my friends recently committed herself to a healthier, fitter lifestyle. It started off as a very healthy change for her, but at some stage it turned into an obsession. She now spends hours a day training, documents and reviews everything she eats, yet is not training for anything specific.

She has stopped enjoying dinners out, popcorn at the movies and any social event which interferes with her training schedule or dietry regime.

I have another friend who used to be the ultimate family man. Everything he did at work was driven by his desire to improve the lifestyle and standard of living of his wife and children. He just loved going home and sharing the fruits of his labours with them.

One day he got promoted. Of course he did, he was extremely motivated and professional at work, his wife was his inspiration and the reason for his success. But when he got promoted, something changed. Work wasn’t about providing for his family anymore, it grew a life of its own. All of a sudden, power and the career ladder were the only things he could see.

To my mind, both these friends have lost their way. They have forgotten about the real things in their lives, the important things. They have gotten so caught up in an idea, they’ve lost all balance. They’ve became slaves to it.

With my first friend, she originally wanted to lose some weight and live a healthier, fuller and happier lifestyle. Losing sight of this, she now trains and eats to a regimen that excludes life outside this regimen. My second friend now sees time spent with his wife as a competing interest to time spent at the office, a constraint which gets in the way of his commitment to the job.

Historically, this has never been a normal way of living. Historically, people only ever did what they had to do to support themselves and their loved ones. What time was left was honoured as time to enjoy, time to share. There was only one group of people for whom work was the end game in life, and we called them slaves. Its interesting that today, despite slavery being outlawed, people still live in a similar manner.

Have a look at your own life. This is something I do all the time. Is there anything you seem to be dedicating yourself to, that really should be a means to a higher purpose. Is there anything you working on for the sake of the work, rather than the benefits that work should bring?

If there is, have you become a slave to an idea? Are you toiling for no purpose. Remember you only have one life, so review this work and try to work out what it will bring you in 10 – 20 years? Will you look back on your toil and smile at the benefits it brought you? Or will you look back and see a landscape of opportunities missed?

Typically the people who become slaves to something in their lives, do so because they get so caught up in what they are doing, that they lose their perspective. Having lost perspective, the important things in life become muddied and unclear. If this sounds life you, there is a simple way to get your perspective back. You need to stop everything for one weekend. Go away for this time, on a retreat if you like. Spend this time thinking about and documenting the really important things in your life.

If you are a little unsure about whether you are getting perspective right, there is an easy way to check. The things you are doing, are they for a higher life purpose? If they are, you have perspective. If not, its possible you are still caught up in the idea of what you are doing. For example, working extra hard now can be part of a plan to achieve financial freedom and retire early. It shouldn’t be to get promoted to the next level in the corporate structure. The former is a life goal, the latter assumes another level of work is the end game, so you are working for works sake.

Once you get your perspective, you’ll throw the shackles of slavery which have held you in your rut. You’ll regain control on your life, you won’t be dancing to anyone else’s tune. So protect your perspective, remember what is important in your life and make sure the work you do serves your life goals. This is very different to your life serving your work goals.