Becoming Who You Want To Be

Whenever we see someone being abused, we often ask ourselves… how did that happen, especially to a person who’s strong and independently minded? Today, it’s really hard to spot the signs of abuse in a relationship. And we never know who are those people that have tendencies to be abusive. It’s also hard to tell if someone you know is being abused, unless you see the marks on her/his skin.

Maybe she (or he) will blame herself or tell herself that things are going to change. Maybe on some level she believed she doesn’t deserve any better. Nonetheless, as a friend you can help by spotting an abusive relationship before it is too late.

The signs of an abusive relationship vary with the age of the victim and the type of abuse. Signs of child abuse are actually comparatively easy to spot. You see, children are not quite as good at hiding things.

Often times, victims of abuse will tell you about the situation on some level. To be able to spot the signs of child abuse, you must observe how the child behaves. For example, if the child has physical marks on her or his body that she or he can’t explain, she or he might be in an abusive relationship. Same thing if a person is too quiet and withdrawn or moody.

Of course, with an adult abusive relationship, signs can be a little bit harder to spot. In my experience, one of the best telltale signs of an abusive relationship is the need of the victim to defend the abuser. On some level, victims always know when they’re being abused.

When they jump to their abusers aid, they are not only trying to convince you that the abuse is not happening, but trying to convince themselves. They will be louder or more vociferous than the situation calls for. They may also try to excuse the abuse by giving all sorts of reasons for why it happened and claiming that it was a one-time thing.

What’s even more difficult to spot are the signs of emotional abuse. This is because there’s no definite meaning of where emotional abuse begins, generally, it’s all subjective. And that’s the biggest challenge in spotting the signs of emotional abuse. You must get out of the relationship if you feel you are berated and excessively criticized. Don’t wait until your partner hits you before you take action.