Becoming Who You Want To Be

A greeting and gesture of acknowledgement, handshakes offer an insight into the person who’s hand you’re shaking. They are used by us on a daily basis so you should spend time learning how to properly perform them.

You should take hold of the other person’s hand firmly when shaking hands with them. How strong your grip is will convey if you’re confident or not. Keep an arm’s distance away but establish eye contact. After a couple of shakes of their hand, pause briefly, and then release your grip of their hand. Communicate a positive message through your smile, eyes and tone of voice. That is a perfect handshake but you should be aware of the following variations that others use.

The I’ll Take The Lead Shake. The person who initiates this is trying to communicate a signal of being in control. They’ll take hold of your right hand using their right and place their left on top forming a kind of glove on your hand. They do this to imply they can be trusted but instead you’ll likely feel uncomfortable.

The Bone-Crushing Shake. You’ll feel a squeeze on your fingers and an exagerrated up / down movement whilst they’re grasping your hand. They’re sending you a signal that they’re physically stronger than you and they are going to control this situation. Those who shake hands in this manner want to be seen as confident but they usually give the impression of being aggressive.

The Oil Shake. These people dislike handshakes and hope to get it over quickly. They’ll grip your fingers softly and then suddenly let go, leaving your hand to just hang in mid air. Keeping you at a distance makes them feel more comfortable and they probably prefer avoidance of all intimacy with other people.

The Lifeless Shake. This handshake feels as though the person you are greeting has no strength in their hand and they just hang it infront of you with the expectation of you doing all the work. People who do this give others a weak impression of themselves. It conveys that they aren’t a threat but also that they can’t be counted on.

The Body-Basher Shake. The other person will grab your hand in a dominant grip and pull you in to their personal space. Then they may slap their left hand over your wrist, elbow or shoulder. Be wary as they’re trying overly hard to appear friendly with you and are likely aiming to take a shortcut to earning your trust.

Next : Body Language Signs