Becoming Who You Want To Be

Compromise is the process of finding a middle ground between two positions or solutions. The middle ground is not capable of generating sustainable solutions to today’s problems. Because of this our society may at last be on the brink of evolving beyond our traditional over-reliance on compromise as a first-choice problem-solving strategy.

What makes compromise a poor twenty-first century problem-solving strategy? Today’s challenges are far more complex than they have ever been because today’s world is far more interconnected than it has ever been. The best obtainable outcome using compromise is that all parties walk away from the negotiating table feeling equally ripped off. This makes compromise a poor strategy for creating sustainable solutions.

The only other problem-solving strategy most people know is coercion: forcing our will onto others. But, coercion is even worse than compromise.

If remedies for our challenges cannot be created by compromise or coercion, then what problem-solving strategy can do this? Fortunately, there is a third negotiation style. It is called synergy. Synergy integrates everyone’s perspectives in order to form a complete picture. Integrated pictures in turn reveal more complete solutions than any single perspective can see on its own. This is how synergy takes people far beyond compromises unsatisfying ritual of meeting in the gray middle.

Synergy starts with an act of humility: appreciating that no one person or group accurately sees the big picture by himself or herself. Building on that humility, synergy includes two additional ingredients:

1. Clarifying Core Intentions: This requires inquiring about what people want from the solutions they have proposed. When you understand the most important thing someone is seeking from the solution they are proposing you have identified their core intention.

2. Merging Core Intentions: One everyone’s core intentions are clear, they are combined in order to reveal the bigger picture. Once this picture is clear to all, creative solutions can be brainstormed that do a far better job of serving the common good than any one party could have created. This is what makes synergy superior to compromise and coercion.

Society is at a tipping point when it comes to our chosen negotiation strategies. Will we continue to rely on coercion and compromise because they are familiar to us, no matter how inadequate they are as 21st century problem-solving strategies? Or will be start using a less familiar but far more effective negotiation strategy? It is time we started depending on synergy as our first-choice problem-solving strategy.

Synergy is easy and exciting to use once you get the hang of it. Isn’t it time you started using this important 21st century tool for successful solution-creation and negotiation?